Blameless Pineapple
Pineapple-as-a-Service: a joke status page, incident and blameless postmortem for one very unreliable pineapple, built as an SRE teaching resource.
“99.9% ripe. Mostly.” A satirical Pineapple-as-a-Service site that is really a reference for good incident practice. The joke gets the link shared; the content is what makes people send it to their team.
What’s on it
- A status page for four service components (Ripeness, Firmness, Crown Integrity and Aroma APIs), each with a 90-day uptime bar and availability.
- A composite SLA derived from those components, shown against a 99.9% target with the remaining error budget draining in a sticky status bar.
- Incident INC-001, from Investigating to Resolved, with every update leading on customer impact and no false ETAs.
- A blameless postmortem with contributing factors rather than one root cause, a ruled-out obvious theory, and action items owned by role.
- Reference pages on SLOs, alerts, status pages, incident management and postmortems, with jargon annotated inline for newcomers.
How it works
Vanilla TypeScript on a Vite multi-page build, with no framework and no backend. Every figure comes from one data source, so the numbers survive an SRE checking the maths. The hero is a scanned 3D pineapple rendered with three.js, and the scroll story is driven by GSAP. It’s deployed to Cloudflare.
The repo is private while it’s a work in progress.